Awesome - Wedding Day - 1980

Wedding Day- September 7, 1980

(three days from my 20^th birthday)

Let me remind you briefly that Robin and ‘her former’ had introduced Carl and I some time before.  Robin was my one and only bridesmaid (or maid of honor- can’t remember if she was married at the point), she’s the only one I needed, she’s the only one I wanted. 

Carl and I had little money and hadn’t expected our parents to pitch in much, so whatever we planned we’d need to pay for and carry out on our own.  That didn’t make us bitter or angry that was just life and so we planned.

Our wedding day was full of awesome surprises, but you’ll have to wait a moment for that, first some details…  We got married in a chapel in Balboa Park.  It was small and quaint, Spanish style, wood and plaster and pretty stain glass.  I thought it would be a beautiful setting at sunset all lit up in candle lights- how romantic.  The chapel could hold up to 150 guests or so, sounds do-able.  

For our music, Carl who had enjoyed writing and orchestrating music, had both written and performed our entire wedding music adding track after track after track to complete his original piece.  He had long ago told me he never liked the traditional wedding march and wanted to write his own music.  Hey, I’m not gonna argue, sounds pretty perfect… along with my candles of course…  When Carl wrote the music he counted up all the necessary people walking down the aisle so he could build up the music, both instrumentally and in volume accordingly - timing was key for him.  We had asked my grandmother if she wanted to walk down the aisle and she had declined.  So he factored her out.

For my dress I was fortunate enough to find a friend of my sister’s who would make the dress for me.  Since I didn’t have much money the theme simpler was better was what I went for.  Frankly I wasn’t too thrilled with the results but hey how much does that really matter, I’m getting married and will soon be Carl McKellips’ wife.

The day finally came, Robin and I readied ourselves, with our make-up and hair, at our new apartment in El Cajon.  My brother-in-law, Bob was set to pick us up and take us to the wedding where we’d get dressed and finish up with this or that with plenty of time to sashay a few steps to our pretty little chapel.  Robin and I were done with our preparations fairly early and set out to wait for our chauffeur, Bob, what a guyyyyyy.  In fact Bob was going to be the photographer too!  He had graciously accepted that ‘hat’ too.  Whew let me tell you that sure was a relief.  I mean really who has the money for photographers anyway- yikes!

Well it seemed that we were waiting forEVERRRRRR for Bob.  Time seemed to be ticking away.  Tick tock tick tock.  And soooo we waited and waited and waited.  Aaaaaa it’s driving me crazy.  You have to remember this was far before we had cell phones and only some people had pagers (if you don’t know what this is – google it) and I don’t think he was one of them.  As time kept clicking by I now realized that Bob had misunderstood my instructions I said we needed to be AT Balboa Park by 3pm and he thought he was supposed to pick us up at 3pm.  That was the hope I was holding onto for now.  Otherwise he had forgotten us entirely and I don’t think he’d do that.  Aaaaaaaa.

FINALLY Bob strolled up, quite casually; clearly thinking he was on time.  Robin and I made a mad dash to his car with our dresses and shoes in tow and I’m sure I was frantically barking instructions at him to GET ME TO THAT CHURCH NOW!!!!  I think he thought I had become a bride-zilla.  I can imagine him thinking ‘oh my gosh this is a side of Susan I’ve never seen before’.

As we raced to the chapel, which is at the least 25 minutes away, with no traffic, and no parking problems  (which may be possible in an alternate universe- but not in my reality that day) and clung to my dress I had a horrible realization  - I had forgotten the CANDLES for the CANDELABRAS!  I had forgotten ALL of them.  My candle lit wedding was going to be in the dark – aaaaaaaaaaaa.  I tried not to burst into tears, knowing I couldn’t re-do my make-up in the time we had left.  I felt sick and defeated.  Robin helped how she could, but she knew she couldn’t do anything either.

We got to the park and told Bob to let us out at the chapel- he could find parking without us.  So we picked up our stuff and ran towards the chapel.  Well, by golly, guess who was there to greet us, yep that’s right, most of my guests, smiling sweetly at us…. AWESOME, oh and look what I’m wearing some old military fatigues and a t-shirt- yikes.  I’m thinking by this point I did not put enough deodorant on for this day- another awesome!  And look who I see out of the corner of my eye, oh that’s right it’s Carl, and HE’s seeing me before the wedding too- ok that’s it.  I’ve officially had a bad start to the wedding.  I noticed too that Carl, who sweats profusely without cause, was apparently given a nice wool tux for this nice hot September day, since he got the free tux.  So he’s clearly going to be uncomfortable – oh yay.  Robin and I make a mad dash into the dressing room where I find my ‘mother-in-law to be’ and she seems to be fairly casually primping with her hair or lips or something.  Well all I want to do is throw my dress on and get ready in the next 2 seconds.  I felt like the looney tunes Tasmania devil spinning around to get everything in it’s place…  AAAaaaaaaa.  When I was close to finishing and being able to breath again, my mother-in-law ‘to be’ says something like ‘well it’s not too late’.  As in it’s not too late for me to walk away… not get married to her son…  Really? REALLY??!!!  I know Robin had to hold me back with that one.  Oh my gosh!  I had some visions that weren’t too nice- hair flying (and not mine) was part of it… 

I quickly snapped back to reality when I heard the music begin and so Robin and I got into position.  I listened for Carl’s music queues.  Wait a minute I see my grandmother walking down the aisle- WHAT????  She wasn’t supposed to walk down the aisle- ohhh what is she doing????  I hear from someone that she decided she wanted to walk down the aisle.  OH GREAT, that’s gonna mess up our music.  UGHHHHHH.  Thankfully someone(s) walked quickly and we made up the time enough for me to walk down when Carl had ‘marked’ for me to do so- whew!

Oh as I walk down the aisle I see that the chapel so graciously found some candles for me- Oh thank you Lord!  As I stood with Carl up near the chaplain I forgot everyone but Carl, in fact I know at some point I’m supposed to repeat something – aaaaa I better pay attention.  In a matter of seconds , it seemed, it was all over.  Geish that was quick.

We file out of the chapel in time to take a few pictures because Bob tells me his camera’s flash batteries died and he can’t take any shots except outside.  Awesomeeeee, why not?  Of course… no big deal, no pictures ….  Who needs pictures of their wedding day?

The wedding reception was next.  I remember talking to a few people, the rest was a blur.  I remember, my brother Scott, wasn’t there for my wedding, which was a big disappointment for me, but he had explained that he had a new job that required him to fly out that day.  I remember missing him.

Finally it was time to leave to our honeymoon in Rosarito Beach, Mexico.  Carl and I waived good-bye to the few people who were left.  We went out to our car, Carl’s latest purchase, a white 1960 round-body Mercedes.  He went to start it and NOPE it wouldn’t start.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  REALLY?  By this time I had had so many things go wrong with the day that it didn’t even faze me.  I’m thinking ok whatever, let’s find a ride.  We did, we went back to our friends who were still partying and asked for a ride.  They laughed and said they had a truck and that Carl would have to jump in the back- AWESOME.  AND for some reason we were headed to Carl’s mom’s house- ewwwwwww (I’m just saying on my wedding night uh that’s not where I want to be heading).  We got there, quickly changed (to her giggles) and headed back to our apartment, Rosarito Beach can wait I’m exhausted.

I ended up with about 6 pictures from the wedding.  I remember now that my (and robin’s) 6th grade teacher, Mr. McLaughlin and his wife came to my wedding- how sweet of them.  I look back at a lot of those details about the wedding and mostly laugh.  I remember my best friend, Robin, supporting me throughout that day and I have to say she did a great job.  Weddings and all the trappings of a wedding aren’t so important; it’s really that individual you’re signing your life in union to- no back doors- all for God’s glory in His time and How He sees fit.  AWESOME!   In the end I had an AWESOME day because that started my life with Carl Dean McKellips.